So I Don’t Like GaGa’s “Applause”: GIF Confession from a GaGa Fan

So Katy Perry’s new single “Roar” leaked out over the weekend, thus forcing the record company to release it today. Not to be outdone, Lady GaGa declared a “pop emergency” and released her new single, “Applause” early because of “low-quality audio” leaks. These are both highly anticipated singles released on the very same day. I’m more of a monster than a KatyCat myself, so I’m definitely more excited over “Applause” than anything else. But . . .  I listened to it and . . . well . . . I . . . I guess I can only explain my whole thought process through gifs.

Upon hearing that “Applause” was released early, I was like:

And then I listened to it. First time through:

It just wasn’t grabbing me the way I thought it would. But the same thing happened with “Born This Way.” So I listened to it about ten more times, and afterwards, I really just felt like:

Yep, I really just don’t like this song. But that’s not possible. Do I really just not like it? How can that be? I even came to like “Born This Way.” And “Judas,” and no one likes “Judas.” So I’m in a sort-of denial phase, I guess. I’m pretty sure after the thirtieth time I hear it on the radio, I’ll like it. Right? It’ll be ok. I’ll be ok.

But no, I’m not ok. I’ve heard this song way more times than a normal person should hear this song and every time it comes on the radio, I’m just like:

And I get angry. Is it really that bad? Or is it so good that I just don’t get it and it goes right over my head? Am I one of those people? Do I just not get it? Could that be a valid argument that someone can use against me when I say that this song is just terrible?

I mean, I like a lot of crappy music. I’ll full on admit to that. So does the fact that I don’t like “Applause” mean that it’s not crap? Or that it’s mega-crap? Am I just afraid to say that I don’t like it for fear that somewhere down the line I’ll look back and have to admit that I was wrong about it and it’s the quintessential pop song of the 2010’s, a classic — misunderstood and underrated in its day? Then I start getting existential on what is good and what is bad and what that really means and all I wanted was just to enjoy and love the new GaGa song and I can’t and I just blow up really:

I mean:

This is the new era I’m supposed to look forward to? The new GaGa? Have you heard what’s on the radio now? We’re going retro. We’re bringing back the 70’s with Bruno Mars and Justin Timberlake, but also keeping with that electronic stuff we really like, and adding some artistic seriousness to it like Zed, Swedish House Mafia and that Ellie Goulding/Calvin Harris song.

“Applause” sounds like it should have been released in 2010, 2011. It’s not bringing anything new to the music scene, let alone to GaGa’s discography as a whole. It suffers from the same over-production that “Born This Way” did. Sure, it does draw on more of The Fame with its narcissistic lyrics, but everything on The Fame is ten times better than this. “Applause” sounds like it would have been considered for that album, but ultimately got dropped for being so EFFIN’ BORING!! And then I get mad at GaGa for not living up to my outrageously high expectations:

At this point, I’ve also listened to Katy Perry’s “Roar” a dozen times and I realize something that just makes my stomach fall out my butt — I like that song more than “Applause.”

 In this particular battle, Katy Perry wins for me. It’s a cute pop ditty and her voice has noticeably improved. Is it her best song? Uh, no. And I’m not saying it’s the better song either. Far from it. I may like the more pop-y beat of the song, but the song’s lyrics are atrocious. So I wouldn’t say it’s better than “Applause,” I’m just saying I like it more. Maybe because it’s crap, I don’t know. All I know is I could listen to “Roar” more times, and sing along with it more, than “Applause.” Then I feel dirty and awful, and just an utter betrayer to the Mother Monster. By this time, I’m just done.

 

I can only hope that ArtPop is better than this. That “Applause” is just what the record company thought was the lowest common denominator on the album and would be commercially successful on the charts.  That’s all I really have to hold onto right now. Once the full album is released in all its glory, I’ll beg for forgiveness and promise to have more faith from now on. Maybe then it’ll “all be ok.” Maybe.

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